Retribution X: Possessions, Ballet and fancy dress
by Anything but ordinary3
Summary: Retribution X are back and worse than ever!! Hilarious activities include dragging Wolverine to the ballet and holding a fancy dress party! Come on you know your curious and i don't bite...Hard!
1. The Exorcism

**Disclaimer:** None of the X-men, songs or movies used in this Fan fiction to me. All I own is Mel, Ash, Kat, Evelyn and a mouldy sandwich!!

This is the 3rd fiction in the Retribution X series but you really don't need to read the other two first to read this but hey I ain't gonna stop you if you want to read 'em!

Oh and a huge thanx goes out to Loz and Coz who helped me get motivated and your encouraging feedback!

Reviews are all gratefully received even if it is _constructive _critism!

 **Retribution X- Singing in the Rain**

We looked around the new wing of the mansion wide eyed with wonderment.

"Is this all for us?" Mel asked

"Yes, seeing as you are now an official branch of the X men I felt it was time you lived like X men!" Professor X said "Of course you shall not be left completely unsupervised Wolverine has his own room too, what do you think I am? Stupid"

"Damn!" 

"Oh! No!" Kat exclaimed running to a corner and rocking slightly

"Hey it's better then the Brady Bunch!" I pointed out causing the group to whoop in mock delight.

"Is there a Jacuzzi?" Jubes asked

"I'm not made of money you know!" He said as he left

**The R.X. Wings first official Film night.**

I stood up "As you are undoubtedly aware we have been left with a gaping hole in our lives, but this is only temporary as Remy (and our alcohol supply) should be returning next week" I paused for dramatic effect "So without further ado I present to you our first official film night"

"What's the film tonight then Ashley?"

"Well it's quite simply the best musical ever made!" I looked at Mel "Les Miserables does not constitute as the best musical ever so it ain't that." I watched as Mel's face fell.

I then looked at Jubilee who was beaming insanely at me "No it's isn't Moulin Rouge either! Honestly you people are sick!"

I looked at Kat who was sat on our brand new sofa bouncing up and down clapping excitedly "Yay!! It's Grease"

"You've got it buster!" I said pressing play

I looked around the room and knew secretly that everyone was content with my movie choice.

**At the end of the movie**

"Yes I know, sadly that does bring our first movie night to a climatic end" I smiled holding up the rewound video.

"No!" Mel screamed desperately "Ummm…Sorry…what I mean to say is we could watch another movie the night is yet young!"

"You got anything in mind?" Ev asked

"Yeah 'Singing in the rain!'"

Groan

**At the end of 'Singing in the Rain'**

tap tap tap tap tap THUD

Tap tap tap tap tap THUD

tap tap tap tap tap THUD *CHRASH

"There goes that new vase!"

"Kat you'll never be able to do it so give up!" I commented eating the last of the popcorn as I watched her try to copy the scene from the movie where the guy runs at the wall, run's up the wall and then somersaults off of it. However all she'd actually achieved so far was crashing into the wall breaking several expensive looking ornaments and gadgets in the process.

"What's all this noise" Wolverine asked from the doorway

"Wolvie watch me!!" Kat cried before launching herself at the wall once again and once again crashing into it and landing on her butt on the floor. She rubbed her head before getting up and repeating the whole scene again.

"Is this kid for real?" Wolverine asked helping himself to a handful of my popcorn before plonking himself next to me on the sofa.

"Are you watching? You're not watching! Please watch me!" Kat yelled

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap THUD *Shatter*

"God at this rate Scooter will have to sell his body to replace all the stuff Juggernaut Junior over there's wiping out" Logan commented between mouthfuls of popcorn.

"Oh in that case we're doomed! We'll never be able to replace all that stuff after all who'd want to buy Scott's body Yuck!" I laughed "Kat I'm afraid you're going to have to sell your sorry little body to those who want it in order to pay for all this"

Kat looked at me worried and sat abruptly on the floor "Oh no. Ok so if its $1.50 a time that should be a million in…10 times!!" She looked like she was about to cry

"Hey Kat don't sweat it I was only joking!" I said holding up my hands

"Well Ashley Donovan that was a cruel trick to play on the mentally frail!" Kat said brow furrowed before jumping up "Oh well that means I can keep trying…. Are you watching Wolvie?"

"Sure Darlin'!" he said before muttering under his breath "I could do with a laugh"

**An Hour later**

Tap tap tap tap tap THUD

"I think I'm going to join the others upstairs, night you two" I said getting up

"Okay night Sparky"

Tap tap tap tap tap leap whoosh

"YAY! I DID IT! I DID IT!" She looked at him "You weren't watching were you?"

Wolverine shook his head sadly.

Kat shrugged "Oh well!"

Tap tap tap tap tap tap THUD 

**The next morning**

I hissed in the manner of a snake and placed my hand over my closed eyes "It burns" I said as I felt my way to the door eyes firmly shut, once in the hallway I headed left feeling my way along the panelled wall.

I jumped as I felt someone breathing down my neck "And where exactly are you headed Sparky" I could her the smirk in his voice

"To the toilet, where else would a gal be headed at a time like this" I replied eyes still squeezed shut and started edging my way along the wall again.

"ARRGGGHHH!! SHIT!" I said as I felt the floor give way under me, my eyes flew open

"Easy kid I got yer!" Logan said pulling me back from the edge

"Bloody builders!!" I shouted cursing the people responsible for my near death experience. Then I looked around seeing stairs where there should have been floor "Where am I?" I asked

"The new wing!" he said letting go of me "And for future reference yer toilets adjoining your bedroom!" He threw back of his shoulder as he strutted away.

"Bloody know all!" I murmured under my breath

"I heard that!" His voice drifted up the stairs

**5 Minutes later in Kats room**

"I've got a head ache" 

"I'm not surprised the way you were launching yourself at that wall last night!!" I replied "Hang on I'll get you some aspirin"

**Retribution Xs second official Film night**

"I am glad to introduce you to Wolverine tonight ladies it appears he decided 'The Exorcist' was his kind of film. Everyone say hi to Wolverine!" I instructed in my best Cyclops voice

"Hi Wolverine" The rest of the group said in unison

Wolverine just scowled.

"Wolverine were are your manners? At least try to act civilised even if you aren't and say Hi back to the gang!" I said sternly imitating Cyclops as best I could

"Hi" he growled glowering at me

"That's better we may now proceed"

**At the end of the movie**

"What a load of shit!" I screamed outraged "Whoever said that was the scariest movie of all time must have been all foam and no beer, Geez. Okay it was quite funny you know where she p…" I looked around the room everyone looked at me like I was a mad woman

"Do you know what worries me?" Kat leant forward and whispered conspiratorly "That one of US may be possessed by the devil"

Everyone looked at me including Wolverine; I shrugged "Ain't a gal entitled to an opinion"

"Yes quite" Kat nodded primly, we looked at her worriedly she really was acting weird

"Kat have you ever thought it was you who was possessed" Wolverine it seems wasn't worried about her mental state, instead deciding to add to her mental load.

"Oh no!" She squealed "Get it out get it out GET IT OUT!!" She then proceeded to hit herself on the head with the popcorn bowl sending popcorn flying.

**An hour later in Kats room**

We walked cautiously into the pitch black room, and looked pityingly at the heap of what was once a girl sat in the corner. Kats was rocking clutching her bible and murmuring "Nice bible, nice bible"

"Awww look what your done now Wolvie" Jubilee angrily remonstrated Wolverine before walking over to Kat and giving her a hug

"Yeah look now she's broken!" Mel added 

**Half an hour later still in Kats room**

We had sat in Kats room for 20 minutes before she began to show the true nature of her possession, which we under no doubts it was, when she began to rant incessantly for 10 minutes on the dangers of Dihydrous Monoxide a word before she would not have even have been able to spell.

After 10 minutes of listening to her babble on Mel tried to gently point out that Dihydrous Monoxide was infact water. Kats reaction to this was less then encouraging as she laughed manically (even demonically) for another five minutes

"Sure that's what they *WANT* you to think" She exclaimed before laughing again at our naïveté.

"That's it I'm going to call Kurt" Evelyn spoke for the first time

"What the hell for?" Logan demanded

"Well there's something clearly wrong with her and it seems an exorcism is our only hope?"

"Ev you stay here I'll run down and fetch Kurt myself" Mel said getting up and running out of the room before anyone could reply.

Hhhhmmmm…something strange was definitely going on here.

**5 minutes later**

"I just hope we have caught it in time" Kurt said brandishing his crucifix.

"Don't worry Father Wagner if any one can do this its you!" Mel said sweetly.

"This is the biggest load of bull…" Wolverine started

"Yeah you would say that after you pushed her over the edge mister" Jubilee said shoving her finger into his muscular chest "Well you can stay and help deal with the consequences…or else"

That shut him up.

**10 minutes later**

"Nothing ve do seems to be vurking" Kurt commented with a sigh

"Well we can't just give up" Ev said "After all who we will laugh at if Kats stays like this?"

Snickt Wolverine was getting mad again "What the hell are you lot on about? Cant you see this is some kind of set up?"

I was about to reply with a scathing comment but it died on my lips as a high pitched scream left Kats mouth "NNNooooooo!! Anything but that, Anything but that! Masters upset, must get preciousssss!"  A Gollum like voice seemed to come from Kat but her lips did not move

Wolverine looked worried

"Go on shout some more" Jubes prodded him 

"Ummm…Evil creature be gone…"he looked around self consciously "Or I'll cut yer out"

"Anything the master wantsssss…must not anger the massster," the Gollum voice suddenly changed into the voice of Arnold Swazzeneger in the Terminator "but I'll be back"

**An hour later**

"I'm glad that's all over with" I said sitting back in the now stained new sofa, popping my can open

"Tell me about it!" Kat replied "But hey I least I got to catch up with my sleep"

"Sure so you don't remember anything?" 

"Nope"

At that moment Evelyn burst through the door all hot, sweaty and breathless

"Has anyone seen a bald, naked Tibetan man come through here wearing a Stetson and carrying a hundred dollar bill"

We shook our heads puzzled

Evelyn then ran out of the room swearing loudly.

"!?" 


	2. The end!

**Disclaimer as seen in chapter 1**

_Please review and make a lonely gal feel wanted!!_

**The next afternoon**

"Ashley have you been in this cupboard?" Mel's voice floated up the stairs to me

"Has it got chocolate in it?" I asked

"No"

"Then no I haven't been in it"

"Well you really should come down and take a look"

I walked down the stairs legs still wobbling from that morning's mission, where we'd had to leave with Kat behind as she wouldn't get out of bed and things had got pretty heated leaving me badly bruised and bloody.

#Pyro has entered the building#

#Okay thanks Prof I'll keep Kat away from the main building#

Great yet another thing I had to do-baby-sit Kat. Keeping Kat away from Pyro is an important a task as keeping the friends of Humanity away from the school. Kat you see, had a thing about…well taunting Pyro about how he could only manipulate fire and she could create it as well as manipulate it and as you can probably imagine things became (excuse the pun) heated between the two of them.  

"What's in the cupboard? ScuzzleButt?" I asked approaching Mel cautiously

"No worse a karaoke machine"

"Oh god! Now not only have I got to keep Kat away from the main building and Pyro but i've got to keep her away from the cupboard all while I cant hardly walk!!"

"You really should go see Dr McCoy you know? And you might even need some stitches in that shoulder" Mel said looking at the patch on my t-shirt where the blood had started to seep through.

Knock Knock

"God I hope Pyro hasn't sniffed Kat out!" I commented approaching the door which kept our wing separate from the main area of the mansion.

I opened the door and tried not to groan.

"Hi Dr McCoy" I said trying to hide my swollen eyebrow and lip from him unsuccessfully

"Good God you've been in the wars haven't you. Sabretooth?"

"Yeah ol' Scuzzlebutt don't half pack a punch"

"Mmmm… I cant see that but what I can't see is why you didn't come down to the Med bay immediately that wound on your shoulder could become infected as I suspect Sabretooth's personal hygiene leads a lot to be desired"

I would have shrugged but that would have hurt too much and so would of smiling so I just looked at him blankly.

"Well I've come baring gifts!" Hank said holding out an envelope which I reached for with my good hand.

"Ballet?!" I looked at him one eyebrow raised

Mel shot over towards me at the 'ballet'

"Swan Lake! My favourite" She squealed in delight.

"There's 6 tickets there, however you young lady shall not be attending" he said guiding me towards a chair  drawing one up behind me and lift up the back of my t-shirt to get a look at the wound

I almost sighed in relief, I mean I've got nothing against a good nights sleep but I would rather it was in my own bed instead of some crummy theatre. 

"So that means there will be a ticket going spare if you would like to invite anyone because of course I will be accompanying you!" Hank paused in his prodding of my sore wound to say

"I now we'll take Wolvie!" Jubilee said coming in from the kitchen drinking milk straight from the bottle.

"I don't think that's wise" The good doctor said removing his glasses with his huge blue furry hand.

"More to the point you'll never get him to agree!" I said pulling my T-shirt down.

"I have my ways" Jubilee said with a grin

**An hour later in the kitchen**

"Ohhh you've brought food" came Kats voice from the door but she held back like a frightened puppy

"Yeah went and raided ol' one eyes fridge!" I looked at her large hungry yet scared eyes "Do ya want some" But the kid didn't make a move instead resuming its rabbit in the headlights look

I attempted to approach her with a muffin but she backed away scared. I tried a different tactic and knelt down holding out the muffin with one hand. Still she didn't move so I broke lumps off and threw them at her feet. This had the desired effect, the girl knelt down and picked the chunks of muffin up off the floor and shoved them in her mouth greedily. The next chunk I threw closer to me and she edged forward to reach it. After 10 minutes the girl was eating out of my hand.

"There's a good gal, see nothing to be frightened of" I said patting her head. 

At that very moment Jubilee came crashing into the kitchen causing Kat to yelp and run out.

"There you are!" she announced as I got off the floor wiping down my jeans which had small traces of drool down them.

"What do yer want kid?" I asked gruffly

"Well you see tonight Hanks treating us to an all you can eat steak dinner in the place next door to the strip club you pretend you don't go to"

'Damn she knows about that!' I thought

"And as Ashley can't come we decided you'd be as good a stop gap as any" She said with a smile

"Well when you put it as charmingly as that how can I refuse?" I said glowering at her just so she was aware that I was a manly man "Why ain't Sparky going? I ain't seen her since the mission? She okay?" I asked, there had to be a reason why she wasn't going and she had taken a good beating from Sabretooth.

"Oh you know what Ashley's like about eating out where I quote 'Everyone watches'" Jubilee said vaguely

But what she said made sense that kid was really touchy about eating she said she saw it as a 'chore' her Jenga tower was certainly wobbly but hey Kats had completely collapsed and she was going. Then as an afterthought I decided to take something to tie Kat down with, who knows what she would do tonight.

**In the Mutant ****Mobile******

"Um… Hank aren't you going the wrong way the strip…restaurants that way!"

Hank looked at me puzzled "Yes we would be going the wrong way if we wanted to go to 'Fred's all you can eat steak grill' but we are going to watch 'Swan Lake'"

"JUBILEE!!"

**In the theatre**

Snore

I felt an elbow in my ribs "Wolvie wake up"

I opened an eye and growled at her before rubbing my face and looking at the stage. That's it I've had enough Snickt I jumped down from the balcony and ran at the stage

**Back in the Mutant ****Mobile******

"I've never been more embarrassed in entire life and I thought the time that I got a Twinkie stuck in my fur for a week and no one told me was bad. But this is in a different league!" Hanks face was as near to purple as the blue mutant could be. "What did you think you were doing? What did you think you were actually going to achieve"

I glowered at him then at the girl who were all sat there like they were totally innocent. As if they had sat there screaming at me to use the chair.

"Well do have anything to say for yourself Logan?" The blue doctor persisted

"Sorry" I mumbled almost inaudibly

"Sorry what was that?"

"Sorry!" I spat at the back of his head

**A week later.******

"We are saved!" we yelled in unison running up the gravel drive towards them

"A warm welcome is it not chere!" Gambit exclaimed to Rogue as Jubilee flung herself into his arms.

**An hour later in the R.X wing**

Jubilee stood up hands on hips "Right Kat, Ash your organising the food right?"

"Yep!" I replied we had the easy task all we had to do was make 2 maybe 3 trips to the Summer's fridge.

"Mel, Ev your our entertainment people got it?"

"Yep!" They replied in unison

"I'm head party planner and decorations expert, Remy's in charge of the liquid beverages (i.e. alcohol) oh and Wolverine…"

We looked around the room; there was no sign of him

Jubilee however sighed and walked behind the sofa and pulled him out by his ear "Wolvie you're in charge of invitations!"

"Why me?" He glowered 

"It's your wing warming too you know!" She looked at him suspiciously "…and no Nick Fury can not come" 

He slapped his forehead.

**Party Night**

"Jean that pot of yoghurt reminds me why did you eat my on without replacing it?" We could hear Scott say.

"Crisis at 10 o clock" I said out the side o my mouth to Kat

Kat looked at me and knew immediately what to do.

"Hey Ken do you want to do some Karaoke?" He looked tempted but started to decline "We could sing Gloria Gaynor" 

"Sure why not after all it is a party!" Scott exclaimed 

I dug in my pocket for those handy ear plugs, but before I could put them in I heard Logan yell "NO!" before running up the stairs hands over his ears.

_"At first I was afraid, I was petrified,_

_thought__ that I could never live without you by my side,_

_and__ then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, _

_and__ I grew strong…"_

_Crack_

'Oopps there goes another window' I thought that was the 3rd window that had cracked since Kat had discovered the Karaoke machine.  

I walked over to where Melody was chatting with Nightcrawler on the sofa.

"So who have you come as Kurt?" I said leaning over

"I am Captain Von Trapp from ze sound of music" He informed me "And who are you?"

I spread my hands out wide "Hey cant you tell I've come as Ashley Donovan?" 

That's right it was a themed party, you had to come dressed up as someone from a musical however being the spoil sport I am I said something to the effect that I rather procreate with a corpse tan come dressed up.

Mel had come s Sandy from Grease and looked pretty good in the tight black trousers she was wearing, Kat was 'Chitty Chitty Ban Bang" (don't ask),  Jubilee was dressed as someone called 'Columbia' from the Rocky Horror show, Evelyn was a pink lady, Cyclops (ironically) was Danny from grease and at first we'd thought that Wolverine had dressed as Curley from Oklahoma! However we soon realised that they were actually what he called hit 'smart clothes'.

**An hour later**

"What's Mel doing by the Karaoke machine and who's that with her?" I squinted in their direction

"Is it Sabretooth?" Kat asked with a giggle

"Nah it looks like Kurt" Evelyn squealed excitedly

_"I've got chills, their multiplying,_

_and__ I'm losing control,_

_Coz they power your supplying,_

_It's electrifying" _Kurt sang

"Whodathunkit?!" I laughed "Our Mel seems to have fallen for the elf!"

I heard a gravely voice in my ear "I'm thinking someone should sing all this electrifying stuff to you"

"They wouldn't dare 'coz that's exactly what I'd do to em!" I laughed "Gonna sing any Oklahoma then Elvis?" Drink had made me daring

The only response I got was a growl.

"I know" Jubilee grabbed Evelyn storming off to wards the machine where Mel and Kurt were looking at each other as the sang (Mel looked truly drunk I feel I must add).

"*Cccccccc*" I sounded in my best dehydrated impression.

"Something wrong Sparky?" Wolverine asked

"CCccccccc….Dehydrated…Vodka…quick" He looked at me in such a way as read I think you've had enough already

I dropped to the floor clutching my throat "Ccccc…Huurrryy…Cccc"

Wolverine sighed as he crossed the room to get me some Vodka.

I jumped up quickly clapping like a maniac as Kurt and Mel finished their duet, Wolverine turned around and I shot to the floor again clutching my throat.

"This song's dedicated to Wolvie are very own Elvis" Jubilee and Evelyn screamed in unison

Wolverine stopped in his tracks shooting them daggers.

_"You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time…"_

Everyone looked at Wolverine apprehensively

_"…Well you ain't ever caught a rabbit,"_

Snickt Uh oh

"I'll catch to little bloody rabbits…"was the last we heard him say as he chased the girls out of the room

**At the end of the party.******

"Ashley your phones ringing"

"Okay thanks" I got up off of the floor "Hello hic Karl's road kill café, you kill em, we grill em….oh hi"

**2 Minutes later**

I crossed over to the sofa where Mel had passed out on Kurt's shoulder.

"Sorry about this" I said trying not to smile as I attempted to pull her off of him but she dropped off of the sofa altogether.

Groan

"I'll just hic take her up to bed" I said crossed eyed pulling her by her arm

Mels eyes fluttered open "Carpet burn" she groaned I dropped her hand abruptly.

"I didn't hicdo it!"

"Sorry bout drool" she mumbled looking at Kurt before falling asleep with a snore.

I stood helplessly for a moment before Wolverine came in. I spotted him and pointed dumbly at her body then pointed to the ceiling he let out  shuddering sigh and hoisted her up before carrying her to her bedroom.

"Vill she be alright?" Kurt asked tentatively

"Yep! She's survived more drink than she drunk tonight" I said slurring slightly

Kurt got up and waved as he left. I in turn slumped onto the couch. After a while I heard heavy footsteps descend the stairs I looked up disinterestedly as Wolverine entered the room before pointing to myself and then pointing to the ceiling. I knew I was pushing my luck but he just sighed again and lifted me up in his arms. I was asleep as soon as we reached the first stair.

**The next morning.******

I opened my eyes with my customary hiss and "it burns". I looked at my clothes I was still fully dressed in my jeans. Then I remembered last night and groaned. 'Bloody idiot' I chastised my self 'of all the stupid things to do'

But before I could do anything else I heard a similar groan come from my wardrobe, I racked my brains to try and remember if I'd killed anybody and dumped their body in my wardrobe until I could dispose of the body, but my conscious seemed clear.

I got up to investigate. I jumped back as Kats comatose body slumped out of the wardrobe when I opened the door oh well at least I knew she was safe. I then walked into my en-suite bathroom to find Jubilee and Evelyn asleep in my bathtub.

"Jubes" I prodded her

"Just another 10 minutes momma" 

"Jubes!" I said prodding her harder. "I've done something stupid"

Her eyes flew open "You're not pregnant are you? How many times have I told you to use contraception?!"

I looked at her puzzled what was she on about; I was still a virgin for god sake!!

"No I've agreed to go on a date!"


End file.
